My friend Johanna and I drove down to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to go see Madonna on her “Re-Invention Tour” on July 28, 2004. I was to pick up my new friend, Robin, at the airport on Thursday afternoon as she had won the Vh1 Contest to be in the special dance pit on Madonna’s stage during the show. Robin simply needed a way to get to the concert and a place to stay – and I was more than happy to provide that. In return, she would be allowing me to be her guest that goes into the pit with her. All-in-all, a very generous bit on her part to say the least! (I have to confess that at first I couldn’t even believe that it was real. It wasn’t until she faxed the documents from Vh1 to me that I could even conceive of the fact that I was going to be mere feet away from Madonna.)

That morning, Johanna and I drove to South Beach to have lunch at a little place called “The NewsRoom.” As we sat by the window people-watching, I remember thinking how surreal it was that I was going to be so close to my idol in a matter of hours. The day seemed like any other one – it was bright and sunny, befitting Miami’s colorful skyline – however, everything seemed extremely vivid. As I downed a caesar salad and cottage cheese, I couldn’t help but wonder – will Madonna even see me? To hope to be even seen by her seemed too much to ask. The number of fans in the pit numbered 30 on each side – and that I was going to be in the front of similar-minded devoted fans was almost too much to hope for. I left the waitress a little bit of an extra tip hoping to keep my karma intact until at least after the concert. After all, one can’t take chances!

A bit of background would probably be appropriate at this point. Madonna has been a tremendous influence in my life and has been an inspiration to me during very dark times in the past when I have been very troubled. It would not be an exaggeration to say that she alone pulled me through some of those really bad days by giving me something to strive for someone who I respected and admired for a number of reasons. Someone who went on Arsenio Hall and told all of America that gay people were just like anyone else back at a time when it was far from popular to do so. Someone who constantly put artistic value and substance together with flash and style proving that you could have both. (The reason I feel most of Madonna’s detractors have failed to derail her career is that they took too long to acknowledge that there were important messages in her work and simply tried to disregard her as ‘pop art.’ Now it would be hard if not impossible to deny that over her long career and full catelog of hits that there have been several important artistic points made among the more controversial ones.)

Back in 1990, at 19, I was lucky enough to scrape together money to rent a car with a friend and drive to Detroit, Michigan (her hometown) to see her live. My friend, who passed away last year, stood behind me when Madonna first came out on stage during that fabulous tour. “There she is! It’s Madonna! You did it! You got to see Madonna!” he screamed while he shook me. The seats I had were up in the stratosphere, and she looked like an ant from where I was but it hardly mattered. I was hearing her live and there really was nothing like hearing “Vogue” being performed while it was the number one song in the country. I can still hear the crowd singing along with her to this day. I remember that I had the choice of either buying a “Blond Ambition” T-shirt, or having enough money to buy something to eat on the drive back to West Virginia.

I got the shirt.

Three years later, Madonna annouced the “Girlie Show” would be performed in only 3 cities in the United States. Why is still something of a mystery, but nonetheless, you can definitely say it added to my stress level! At this time, the internet had just been discovered by myself and other students – and what a facinating tool that it was! Email was fascinating – free instantaneous letters! It seemed almost too good to be true! But even at this early stage – Madonna was on the internet. I found out about the concert through the “Madonna-list-digest” – a collection of Madonna-emails fans sent to one another that I received daily. I found out about the show two days in advance, and arranged to buy tickets at my friend Denise’s dorm room that Saturday morning.

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In a rare-“cry of pain in the desert” moment I had an experience that would haunt me until the Re-Invention Tour 11 years later. I dialed in to Ticketmaster and got in 3 minutes before the tickets went on sale. The operator, who confirmed that she did have front row tickets for sale, refused to keep me on the line and hung up on me. Needless to say, I was slightly unhappy! (If you must know, I shook my fists at the sky and cried “Noooooooooooooo!” – William Shatner would have been extremely proud.

I still managed to get decent seats, however and made my way to Philly with 4 other friends of mine. Each of them was from a different area of my life – one from work, one from school, one I was dating, one who I was casual friends with. It was another shoestring-trip, with no frills added to be sure. However, seeing Madonna live was still exciting and worth the 12 hour drive to Philadelphia. Going with 4 other people from different parts of my life who didn’t know each other very well was not the best idea – best not to do it if you ever get the idea yourself. (Just my advice!)

At any rate years passed and it seemed like forever until Madonna would tour again. Finally, it was announced that she would be performing her “Drowned World Tour” and that ticket buyers who purchased AOL first would have first crack at them. My friend Johanna volunteered to sign up, and helped get us the tickets. The best option was Las Vegas and away we went. My friend Tim went with us, as did Johanna’s boyfriend at the time, Michael. It wasn’t as shoestring as the previous trips, thank goodness, as we had time to plan for it. Vegas was amazing, and the fact that we were going to see Madonna there only heightened my newfound love affair with the city. We had pretty good seats – especially considering the capacity of the MGM Grand venue. I could make Madonna out so I was closer, but still no cigar.

I knew – and had always known somewhat – that I wanted just to meet her. Just to say “thank you” or “I love you” for all of the music she has made – for inspiring me – for everything. For providing the soundtrack to my life.

Enter the “Re-Invention Tour.”

Back in March, I still remember the Monday morning that I had called in sick to work and wasn’t feeling too well. Logging onto the internet, I freaked out when I found that Madonna had suddenly announced a tour! Rumors had abounded in the months prior, but it still seemed months away! Within minutes, Johanna and I had plans to get tickets.

The question was: would I be able to ever meet her? Was this time finally going to be the time I was able to do it? Hope abounded, but on the other hand, so did reality.

All of this flashed through my mind as I finished my lunch looking over the bright blue-and-white sky that was dotted with puffy clouds that afternoon of July 29th, 2004. In a way, I couldn’t allow myself to think about achieving such a goal – and on the other hand, how could I not? I shoved the thought back into the back of my head, paid for my meal, and left with Johanna to pick up Robin.

As we made our way to the Office Depot Center in Fort Lauderdale, I wondered if I would even be able to get Madonna to notice me. Mind you – a glance would have sufficed at this point. I was wearing a Black T-Shirt with with lettering proclaiming “MADONNA FOR PRESIDENT” in bold letters. I figured if she saw it, she might get a kick out of it.

Johanna left for her seat while Robin and I lined up for the dance pit winners outside of the will-call booth. Only two women were ahead of us, and Robin had the inside track on asking for the Stage Right pit – supposedly Madonna visited that side more than she did the other. Myself, I knew wherever I was I would be close enough to enjoy the show and would do whatever I could to get her attention within reason. As it turned out, Robin was right, however.

We were lined up inside and told to be vocal and dance all night, and given the rules of behavior within the pit: no reaching over the glass partition, no cell phones, cameras or anything else really. Security was taking no chances – and good for them, I say.

Being led to the pit in my group was unbelievable. The positioning of the pits was amazing – both were literally in a large area smack in the middle on either side. It was almost an “I”-shape in which she would be able to go both in front of and behind us.

In short, it was unbelievable.

If you have never felt 40,000 jealous eyes upon you, I’m here to tell you: it is something else! There were that many people attending that night – and I’m sure more than a few would have traded places in a heartbeat.

Entering the pit, I paused only to toss my cellphone into the security box as I didn’t want to risk having “contraband” and being tossed out. Unlikely to be sure, as I wasn’t even going to touch my pockets for the next three hours, but I wanted to be on the safe side.

Robin and I being one of the first ones in took up position right at the edge of the dance pit facing the middle of the stage. Our two friends who went first had preferred the top edge, so we got pretty lucky in that we were right up front in what I felt were the best spots.

I would find out later how true that was.

Our security guards in the pit were very cool. One was an older Hispanic-looking man who also seemed Italian. He was amused by how serious and yet how excited I was getting over everything. The other was a kind-faced African-American woman who mostly smiled and made equally kind comments throughout the night. Their professionalism and general “coolness” made quite the difference that night.

Soon, it was time for the show to begin.

The video screens in front of the stage began to play Madonna’s “The Beast Within” – a montage by Steven Klein that was both eerie and amazing. From our vantage point, I could spot Madonna getting ready to go under the stage for her entrance, and from that point – I was almost in another reality.

Coming out on a platform, Madonna struck her famous yoga-poses that literally made you gasp to see them. My favorite song – Vogue – was the first to be sung. The dancers, whose dresses and costumes were extravagant pieces reminiscent of 18th century Victorian England, twirled so close to me that I could have touched them directly overhead if I had been allowed.

And Madonna – what could you say? In a glittery corset, she was everything you would want her to be. Fabulous. Amazing. Awe-inspiring. Confident. Artistic. In short – breathtaking.

During her number, “Nobody Knows Me” – a song that wasn’t a radio smash but rather a club hit – she easily moved through a variety of tightly choreographed moves that kept the tempo and the excitement going.

Our group had even practiced chanting Madonna’s name to try and get her attention. Before starting “Frozen,” Madonna was shrouded in darkness before the lights came up – and our group screamed “Ma-don-na! Ma-don-na! Ma-don-na!”

The shadow that was our superstar turned to look in our direction. It was an amazing moment! We had done it! (In actuality, we weren’t sure if we had torqued her off or not by being so loud before she started her number – but when the lights came up she was smiling! I breathed a sigh of relief.)

I finally started to get my wish during the next number.

During “American Life” – Madonna’s controversial song about the War in Iraq – she came right over to me and gave me a high-five. My new friend Kevin was behind me going nuts and saying “You did it man! You touched Madonna!” I was in shock to say the least. Robin was laughing at me, as she said that I almost leaped out of the pit and over the glass to do it. I hadn’t even realized I had done it.

Such was the unreality of the moment that I didn’t even have time to think about it. Madonna, who had lowered a “V”-shaped catwalk down to walk over the crowded floor seats – was coming right back.

I literally had the best seat in the house. Better than front row. I was thrilled to be within a few feet of the dancers and Madonna herself as she performed what arguably was her best concert to date. I could touch the special effects-smoke that covered the stage in “Frozen“. I could literally see down into the platforms where the dancers would pop up onto and into the stage. It was like being part of the show – but also getting to watch it. It was the best of both worlds, truly.

Madonna slowed things down for a sultry and soulful version of “Deeper and Deeper.” Performing as a 20’s Flapper dancer in a Carnivale-type setting – I had no idea I was about to get my most fervent wish.

During a break in the song, Madonna came right over and took my hand out of the dozens that were reaching for her. I like to think she saw the look of amazement on my face and chose me out of the crowd. The 5 to 10 seconds that she held my hand felt like 20 minutes. I was looking right up into her face, into those amazingly green beautiful eyes. And without thinking, I just quietly said, “I love you.” It was sincere appreciation, true admiration from a fan who had followed her for 20 years.

And if you have ever experienced such a fast, yet totally intimate moment – you will probably know what I mean when I say you can tell a LOT about a person when it happens.

She half-smiled at me and tilted her head – not saying anything. She was, after all, in the middle of a number. And really – what would there be to say? It occurred to me that it occurred to her that the relationship between an artist and a fan is always fragile and tenous. Say the wrong thing, and you risk disappointment. Too much enthusiasm, and risk creating a stalker or being insincere.

So I really got her at this point: more words weren’t necessary. But she understood. And I got to tell her. And that moment was beyond price.
To achieve a goal of lofty proportions – literally the top of the list of things to do in my life – seemed unbelievable. I don’t think I ever really expected to be able to do it. But I had hoped it would happen. And in the right way. And I kept that hope burning for over 20 years.

That moment made years of waiting worth it.

It also made me believe that anything was possible. Believe me when I say that seeing Madonna like that in person was one of the most hardest things to try to do – barring spending an outrageous fortune on tickets. But in the end, it really seemed destined in a way. I truly believe that hard work, determination, and just general faith in the Powers That Be made it happen. It just goes to show you that anything in life is possible.

Madonna came over and blew me a kiss and also playfully pretended as if she were going to give me her 20’s-headband. Dropping it mere inches away on purpose, she looked at me sideways and winked.

How perfect a Madonna moment could you get?

My friends were also experiencing magical moments as well – Robin, who was being overshadowed by the taller members of our group – said loudly “What about the short people?” to Madonna – who promptly bent over to shake her hand only. Kevin and his pregnant wife Jen caught her attention, and M raised her eyebrow and wagged a finger at his wife’s belly. Kevin was ecstatic. They were both so happy.

I looked at Kevin a few songs later, and knowing he would understand I said, “Never forget this moment. This is an amazing night you won’t ever want to forget. Savor it, before it’s gone.” He nodded and understood.

Watching the crowd of 40,000 from Madonna’s view, it was easy to see what life might be like for her. The crowd was both fickle and fun – and you sometimes could see them and sometimes couldn’t. It would be easy to be impersonal when singing to shadows. To her credit, Madonna tried (and succeeded) at bringing genuine warmth and a message to our crowd.

Looking into those eyes, I got a glimpse of the woman inside who is kind and vulnerable – who straps on a warrior-like armor that almost everyone else in the world believes is the real person. “Nobody Knows Me” indeed. But for that moment, I felt like I did.

The rest of the concert was a wonderful blur of songs that I have always loved – the Lament from Evita, Die Another Day, Papa Don’t Preach, Crazy For You, Into the Groove, Music, and of course, Holiday.

The dancers and singers kept coming over and gave us special attention all night. The high-fives and smiles were too numerous to mention.

Donna DeLory, Madonna’s back up singer for the last several tours, was amazing and gave our group a tremendous amount of attention. I pointed to my t-shirt (Madonna for President) and Donna nodded. I covered up the “MA” and smiled (making it read ‘Donna for President’) and she laughed. How cool to interact with someone who has been part of the legacy for so many years.

To quote the Lament from Evita: “but how soon the lights were gone.”

Indeed, the show went so quickly. It was pure joy. Pure happiness. Pure emotion. And pure connection. I felt blessed to be there and to know that anything in life is possible. Even your wildest dreams. Especially your wildest dreams. And to be there with wonderful friends – both old and new. (I later learned that Madonna sang part of “Crazy For You” to Johanna. It was gratifying to know that kismet hadn’t left her out after helping me come so far in my goal.)

As Madonna sang what I knew would be her final number, I almost felt sad to know that it was almost time for the end. And as my Blond idol danced past me back and forth on the moving runway – I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever meet her again or if that one handshake and comment (which would be enough to this grateful heart) would be all I would ever know of Madonna. I couldn’t help but wonder if our paths would ever be so close again.

But then I smiled and remembered: anything’s possible.

Madonna taught me that.

Thank you Orlandodisneyboy for sharing your memories with the Tribe.