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When the MadonnaTribe team had the chance to sit down for
a chat with multifaceted artist
Carlton Wilborn
- who worked with Madonna in many legendary projects such
as the Blond Ambition Tour, The Girlie Show and the Vogue
music video - he told us he was giving the final touches to
a book that he described as "the most important
thing I will be doing in my career".
"Front & Center - How I learned to live there"
is indeed much more of a biography, and actually is much more
than a book. It's an engaging journey in the story of who
we are, where we come from, but at the same time it is a book
of poetry and visuals, a look behind-the-scenes at Carlton's
career, at times it will remind you of a non-fictional thriller
novel, and is most of all a story of hope.
"Front & Center" by Carlton
Wilborn is now out, and MadonnaTribe is happy to
bring their readers the first look ever at this inspiring
book, as well as to help Carlton to address the fans himself
and let them know "how he learned to live there".
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hello everyone... YEA, the time has arrived, my first book
titled "Front & Center - How I learned to Live There"
is officially out!
I am so grateful that you guys have been following my career,
and supporting me over the years. But, the time has come,
for you to know the much fuller version of me.
Here's how it goes... Carlton Wilborn the lead dancer for
Madonna's "Blond Ambition" and "The Girlie
Show" tours, whose credits include The New York Shakespeare
Festival, CSI: Miami, The Practice, NYPD Blue and Oprah Winfrey
Presents: Tuesday's with Morrie, has captivated audiences
and commanded the stage, BUT… inside of all of that,
his True Self was missing!
What was missing was the fact that for years, I had been hiding
behind the grim truth, of being the victim of sexual child
abuse, which because of its rippling affect, mounted many
feelings of guilt, fear and shame.
I wrote this book, not only to free myself, but also Hopefully,
that it might serve as a beacon of light for any of you out
there, still trapped for whatever unnecessary reasons.
My book exposes the honest journey and revealing awakening
that lead not only to my survival, but, now I can say, THANKFULLY
to the peace I had always longed for. It speaks to, how even
against the strongest of obstacles you can find your own voice,
heal from the past and finally live truly Front and Center.
I hope you enjoy...
Big love to all of you,
Carlton |
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Born into a family riddled with infidelity,
secrecy, abuse, and neglect, young Carlton
was taught how much he could carry upon what were to become
some very strong shoulders indeed. Much later, as a grown
man and a famous dancer, those same shoulders would glisten
in the limelight when, as her lead dancer, he held Madonna
safely over his head onstage. Missing the fatherly affection,
validation, and comfort that are a young man’s birthright
left him vulnerable and in need of attention. It wasn't long
before he had fallen prey to some shadowy overtures being
made by a man who taught him how to keep a secret bigger and
darker than any of the usual private matters with which he
was routinely burdened inside his own home.
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For
five long years between the ages of eight and thirteen, every
summer young Carlton was sexually abused by a trusted family
friend - later revealed to be a serial child molester who
was eventually incarcerated and served time.
In one of the great ironies of life, when he finally grew
into manhood and strong enough to say no to the abuse, Carlton
had at last earned his brown belt from this molester - who
had been his summer karate instructor. Long into adulthood,
Carlton continued to wrestle with the fallout. As he
began building a stellar career and reputation that would
earn him coveted opportunities and accolades, he fought
to overcome tangled emotions, health issues, trauma, sexual
confusion, and a deep wounding that stayed with him long after
the abuse finally stopped.
This is the story of how a grown man not only overcomes and
heals childhood sexual abuse but learns to thrive beyond it.
On this incredibly engaging journey, which also includes the
behind-thescenes stories of his career, Carlton finds
his way back to where the internal war begins, and takes us
along through the tears, the anger, and the redemption, as
he faces down the enemies inside and outside of himself
and learns to make peace with both his demons and his angels.
Remarkably compelling, emotionally gripping, and brutally
honest, this is a brave and highly original testament to the
enduring and healing power of the divine inside us all.
MadonnaTribe is happy to have a chance to give their readers
and fans worldwide an exclusive first look at the book. Carlton
Wilborn himself has picked out for you one of the pages with
poetry and images you'll find throughout the volume, and an
excerpt of the book to read, "The
Full Throttle Course", that you can find
here.
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Carlton Wilborn is a quadruple threat - Actor/Dancer/Choreographer/Writer
- who made his mark in over twenty film, television and theatre
projects, has now written his first book, FRONT & CENTER,
which was published by TreeLife Publishing in February, 2007.
Wilborn began his professional career at Chicago's prestigious Hubbard Street
Dance Company. Soon after, he performed for five consecutive
years as a soloist in Ruth Page’s Nutcracker and as
a resident guest artist for Ballet Met. Eventually, Carlton
followed his internal compass to Hollywood, landing the
position of Madonna’s lead dancer in her Blond Ambition
and The Girlie Show tours and in the documentary feature
Truth or Dare.
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 March
15, 2007: A Different
Light Bookstore
Hollywood, CA at 7:30.
March
27, 2007: A Different Light Bookstore
San Francisco, CA at 7:00.
March
29, 2007: The Desert Post Weekly.
March
29, 2007: The DesertSun.com.
April
3, 2007:In The Meantime Men
Hollywood, CA at 7:30.
April
4, 2007: The Peppertree Bookstore
Palm Springs, CA at 7:00.
April
7, 2007: Ink19.com.
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In addition, he has appeared on such shows as CSI: Miami,
NYPD Blue, The Practice, Fame L.A. L.A. Firefighters and Oprah
Winfrey Presents: Tuesdays with Morrie. Wilborn appeared in
Joel Silver’s Made Men, in the New York Shakespeare
Festival production of Blade to the Heat and the theatrical
production of The Ten Commandments.
Throughout his two-decade career, Wilborn has worked with
such entertainment luminaries as Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson,
Herb Alpert, Natalie Cole and choreographer Twyla Tharp, among
many others.
Today, Wilborn remains to be one of the most-sought after
commercial dancers and choreographers in the country, while
continuing his theatrical career which includes the upcoming
Richard Gere film Hoax and the new series, Lincoln Heights.
Wilborn also choreographed the soon-to-be-released film Yellow
starring Roselyn Sanchez.
With recently forming his own production company, which is
developing a feature film and television show, he is also
launching a series of inspiring and empowering books and CD's.
Wilborn lives in Los Angeles and volunteers for numerous charities
including Project Angel Food, St. Jude Children’s Hospital
and The Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.
Carlton Wilborn will be
appearing on the PBS show Between The Lines
in the month of May, in the March/April issue of Boulevard
Magazine, released on March 15, and in the April
2007 issue of The Bottom Line magazine.
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Get your copy of "Front &
Center - How I learned to live there", by
Carlton Wilborn, at www.treelifepublishing.com.
The book is also available at bookstores, on Amazon.com
and on
Barnes&Noble.com.
MadonnaTribe first met Carlton
Wilborn last year for a revealing interview
about his life, career and his work with Madonna.
If you missed our exclusive chat or simply want to read
it again click here.
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"The Full Throttle Course"
is the book chapter that Carlton himself has chosen as an
excerpt to present the book to the fans.
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"When I returned
from my trip to Augusta and found myself back in Los
Angeles - and back in reality - it really hit me.
 'Holy
shit! Now that I've opened this can of worms and gotten
all of Gary's contact information, now what?'
Throughout
the years, I had entertained thoughts that it might
serve me to confront Gary, but I could never figure
out how to make that happen. Now I didn't really have
that excuse anymore. Considering the way everything
had unfolded in Augusta, what was I going to do about
it?
In
ballet class one day, I was sharing about my trip with
a lady I had started to date a little bit before I went
to visit my Dad. She was a dancer. She was very talented,
and she really stood out in class, and so naturally
she was the kind of person I would be drawn to. We sort
of had a little energy between us, and what was happening
with her was happening during a year I had set aside
to be celibate - a time that was all about me getting
clear on my sexuality.
With
getting clear on my sexuality as my goal, I was interested
in platonically dating - and that meant either sex.
And here was this sexy female, and I didn't know what
it could be. I thought, 'Let's see what being with a
woman does for me at this stage of my life. Does it
ignite me? Repel me?' So we had a couple of dates, went
to the movies. I was really into it. I always enjoy
being the man to a woman in the times I have been with
ladies.
At
the same time, I was aware that I was in a quandary
with myself, and I was apprehensive to let her
know how much I was on the fence sexually.
After
I got back from my trip, we talked about what had come
up for me in Georgia. She told me she had gone through
something similar to what I'd been through with Gary,
and she had ended up getting involved with attorneys
that helped her deal with her thing.
'Attorneys?
Are you serious?'
'Yeah,'
she told me, 'and if you need some information, I have
someone here in Los Angeles I can connect you to.' She
was very supportive.
So
I got the lawyer's phone number from her and called
the guy.
The
first thing the attorney did was to check the registries
to see if Gary was registered anywhere as a sex
offender.
'I
can't find him listed anywhere,' the lawyer told me.
'Really?'
That seemed to me like a big red flag. Then the attorney
asked me some very specific questions, and found out
the entire period of molestation had happened in Florida.
'In
that case, Carlton, this will have to be handled by
the Florida court system. I will get you the number
for the Special Investigations Division there.'
He
gets me the number. I get on the phone with them. I
tell them my initial plan. 'Listen, I'm a professional
actor. And I was thinking...'
I
tell them the whole scenario I have in my mind. I would
go back to Florida, show up at Gary's church, and do
a badass acting job. I would get myself to one of his
church services, find the perfect moment, and break
down into some fantastic crying episode that would naturally
require me to have to talk to the pastor.
'So
then, once I have a private audience with Gary, and
we are the only two people in the room,' I explain to
the investigator, 'I dry my tears, snap off my actor
face, and say, "Do you remember who I am?"'
As
for me and my lady friend, since I'd been gone on my
trip, there was that built-in distance between us, and
I kept that distance in place. It's not like I came
to some concrete decision one way or another about my
sexual orientation. I didn't make a decision to not
be with her, exactly. I just naturally seemed to need
so much space for myself upon my return from Georgia,
it just bled into me creating even more distance
between us.
I
never did reveal to her that I had been with guys.
It
was kind of ironic. There I was, fantasizing about
asking Gary, 'Do you remember who I am?' At the same
time, I was trying to answer that question for myself.
Who was I, really?"
"Vogue.
Let your body move to the music. Hey, hey. hey. Come
on, vogue. Let your body go with the flow. You know
you can do it..."
Those
were the words streaming from the lips of The "Blond
Ambition" gal herself - as the so-named world tour
launched us into a live performance version of her hit
song, for viewers exceeding some 80,000 plus. And those
were the words that were being chanted, so that I might
also claim more freedom for myself.
Long
before I ever found myself on the "Blond Ambition"
tour, I found myself dreaming Madonna dreams, somewhere
in the mid-1980s in Printers Row on Dearborn Street
in downtown Chicago. That is where I got initially cast
into deliberate focus toward this music legend.
There
I was, standing outside Orly's restaurant, where I was
working at the time as a waiter. And it was while resting
outside, taking a cigarette break, that I saw Madonna's
face boldly covering a full page spread for that week's
Sunday paper release. The article was featuring her
thentour, Who's That Girl, which had swept
its way into Chicago.
I
remember reading the article, thinking instantly about
how a guy from Chicago had gone on to become Michael
Jackson's lead dancer, and how I wished I could
be that for a music celebrity one day. I had the
image of Madonna in my hands, as I was thinking those
sweet thoughts - never realizing that later, many years
later, I would actually be the selected dancer literally
holding Madonna, over and over again, not only
in my hands, but far over my head.
For
me, some of the greatest moments with her happened
as we were in the stadiums at around 4:00 in the afternoon,
watching the early-arrival fans rush as fast as they
could to the front of the stage. We'd always have the
piped-in soulful sounds of Lisa Stansfield blaring through
the speakers as we prepared to move from one song to
the next, making sure all was in order for our soon-to-come
late night explosion. Those proved to be true hallelujah
revelation times for me.
Madonna's
calm before the storm of celebration moved me much.
As did knowing that we'd all come a long way, through
the rehearsal/training days. This full throttle, excellence-to-the-effort
process that M promoted, was a lesson that I knew I
had to maintain for the rest of my life. For every
aspect of my living. We were resting in shimmer-possessed
confidence. No discount, dime store dedications from
us - we were delivering hard core, rock-em-sock-em quality.
"Gene
Kelly. Fred Astaire. Ginger Rogers. Dance on air..."
Madonna continues singing.
We
surely can't arrive on top of any cloud if our focus
is not on that excellence course of action.
And there surely would never have been a Jamie Foxx,
Halle Berry, Mary J. Blige, Oprah Winfrey, Denzel Washington,
Sidney Poitier, Magic Johnson, Condoleezza Rice, Barack
Obama, or Martin Luther King Jr., to lead the atoms
of our mind into jubilation had they not all been
championing this very noteworthy cause - the pursuit
of excellence.
But
I've also grown to realize that many times, while
striving for excellence, we will encounter much persecution.
In the beginning, it was Madonna's life that was, for
me, a prime example of this fact... the way she stood
the test of time - against slander, and lawsuits, and
downright ugly criticism... but now I realize I've come
full circle, and it is in my own life, on so many
stages, that I now find this very same truth, played
out, front and center.
I
understand now that all of the ridicule, intensity,
confusion, and grandeur that surrounded my life were
established to support me being ripened for a very large
purpose. I understand now about strength of character,
and how that speaks volumes. This was learning I had
to acquire from experiential circumstances. And not
from some lofty intellectual conceptualizing.
True
leadership, as John C. Maxwell, in his book "Leadership
101" states, is largely contingent upon one's ability
to be trustworthy. For me, his book punctuated the importance
of making the distinction between whether someone is
to be trusted, or merely tolerated.
This has often times been a difficult beast for me to
wrestle down. Trustworthiness dictates the level of
intimacy possible with another person. I can tolerate
almost anyone but that doesn't mean I'm going to
let them in.
Since
I was a kid, it has always been my desire to be a man
who would have enough power to serve our society with
more and more life-evolving knowledge. And I am absolutely
clear now that there's no way I could ever expect someone
to fully tune into my thoughts if they did not truly
trust that what I was speaking about was something I
had authentically lived through. People can smell our
truth no matter how much we try to cover it with a floralized
façade.
In
addition to the issue of trustworthiness, Maxwell also
professes that our ability to maintain a commitment
to a leader, and the lasting effects the leader can
have, are also impacted by their ability to show genuine
interest in the people they are linked to. And as the
buffet of slow-drip remembrances resurfaces in me, I
reflect on my years with the Golden Beauty, how she
offered many surprising moments of caring and sharing,
and expressions of generosity - and how I am now finding
and growing those same seeds in my own character.
Because
of Madonna's acts of kindness, because of all of her
domino-ing deliverings and sharings designed to mentor
me - gifts that felt like Vegas casino jackpot wins
- I absolutely reached a level of dedication to her
that surprised even me. And even the harder-to-swallow
lessons I learned in my years spent around her created
no diminishment of my dedication to her.
And
now, as I find inside myself that same kind of Empowerer
with the potential for creating lasting impact in the
world, I am reaching that same level of dedication
to my own character and my own blasted-wide-open path.
Meeting
my Empowerer on all the stages of my own life, finding
him inside me at every turn, I know I am in the flow...
"Let your body move to the music. Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, vogue, let your body go with the flow. You
know you can do it..."
Released,
delivered, healed, strengthened, empowered, and lifted
up by Spirit, I know I will do it, as Spirit
moves me from old shadows into the light at the heart
of my own life. For it is there, from that place of
Truth, that I can live, truly front and center.
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FRONT & CENTER
HOW I LEARNED TO LIVE THERE
by Carlton Wilborn
TREELIFE PUBLISHING
Published on February, 2007
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 224
ISBN: 0-9790052-0-5
Price: $24.95
Available at bookstores and on Amazon.com
and Barnes&Noble.com
as well as from
www.treelifepublishing.com
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The Madonna Tribe Team thanks Carlton Wilborn
for the chance to preview the book and to present it to the
fans worldwide.
All
the best for this and all your upcoming projects, Carlton!
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From fans to fans, © 2003-2007 Madonna Tribe
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