Madonna is my mother
Our reader Brady was among the lucky fans who were at the “I’m going to tell you a secret” premiere the other night and here is the essay he wrote about this experience.
MADONNA IS MY MOTHER
by Brady Walters (aka Bijou Clochard)
A couple of birthdays ago, my good friend Audrey bought me a funky
deconstructed sweatshirt from some Lower East Side designer, the front of which reads:
MADONNA IS MY MOTHER.. Normally, one would dub this piece of tongue-in-“chic”
apparel as ironic, but as my boyfriend pointed out last night on the way home
from the world premiere screening of Madonna’s new documentary I’m Going To
Tell You A Secret, perhaps that sweatshirt is not all that far off the mark.
Of course, I have a real mother, and she is amazing – one of my best friends
actually. In recent years, it has become more and more apparent just how cool
she really is. Not only can we talk about almost anything, but I just found
out last week that she watches both Reno 911 and Nip/Tuck, two rather risqué
cable programs that have been among my favorites for the last few years.
However, there is one topic in which we have rarely met on common ground – Madonna.
I have been a relatively huge Madonna fan since I was 14 years old. These
were the days of the “Like A Prayer” video scandal, the conical bras and
gyrations of the Blond Ambition Tour, and the pansexual 1-2-3 punch of “Justify My
Love”, “Sex”, and “Erotica”.. My obsession with a woman who pushed the
boundaries of societal decency further and further with each video, movie, and tour did
not sit well with my mother, and although I believe that she is now confident
that she has raised a well-adjusted son with a good heart and a certain level
of intelligence, I think she has always been a little wary of the inspiration
that has been generated from my idolization of Madonna’s varied projects. I’ve tried countless times in the past to sway my mother’s opinion, especially
since most of the time she has based her judgment on material she hasn’t even
seen. Aside from Madonna’s Golden Globe Award winning turn in Evita, I have
had no such luck, and that.s surprising considering my mother’s avid
admiration of the dance, dramatic, and visual arts aspects that have permeated Madonna’s work throughout the years.
But there is hope.
Last night, flash bulbs popped, and Madonna fans young and old cheered
voraciously as the Queen Bee of Pop Culture herself hosted the one-and-only
theatrical screening of what could easily be renamed Truth Or Dare – The Sequel. But
I do not want to confuse you. This is not the same Madonna. Truth Or Dare
was filmed in 1990 during the colorful, and controversial, Blond Ambition Tour.
That was before Lourdes and Rocco, before the wedding to Guy Ritchie, and
perhaps most noticeably, before Madonna’s involvement with Kaballah. I’m Going
To Tell You A Secret was filmed just last year, as Madonna and camp performed
the wildly successful Re-Invention Tour to sold-out crowds around the planet.
Lucky me . I won tickets through MTV to attend Tuesday night’s premiere
screening right here in New York City. Yes, it was great to be just a few rows
away from the superstar as she addressed the crowd, introduced her movie, and
humbly thanked us fans for sticking by her through “thick and thin”. I had
tears in my eyes, no doubt.
Click on the “full Article” option to read the full review.
But Madonna’s gracious appearance at the theater was
really just the warm up; the actual film was the real star of the night.
(Before I go on, for those of you who were wondering, I have seen her this
close before. “Pit-passes” to a Re-Invention Tour show in New Jersey last year
and the legendary Roseland performance in 2000 assured me of that. But, I
have never just seen her stand still in one place, just talking. Doug and I
both agreed that she looks radiantly more beautiful in person than she does on
any television set. Unfortunately for me, out of fear of getting my camera
confiscated like at the Roseland gig, I left it at home and was not able to take
my own pictures. Hook me up, Jeannie!)
During a recent TV appearance, Madonna stated that the impetus behind the new film was simply to provide an update of what she started back in 1991. At
the time, Madonna promoted Truth Or Dare as a “slice of life”, a movie that was
to present not only the insane existence of a pop superstar, but also those
of her dancers, family members, and friends. Madonna had said that anyone
could watch the film and relate to it on some level – that even though it was
touted as a “Madonna movie”, her involvement was inconsequential as it could have
been about anyone dealing with the highly pressurized chaos involved in
taking a Broadway-caliber show on the road throughout the world. Truth Or Dare was
meant to expose and educate the masses on topics such as homophobia,
alcoholism, and celebrity. It was also designed to provoke, and if the rumors are
true, partially staged to outrage the masses of “middle America”. Madonna
performing her rendition of oral sex on an innocent Evian bottle during a round of
the game that gave the movie its title will forever go down in history as one of Madge’s most popular “shocking” moments. But it was this level of hype
and controversy that eventually muddled Madonna’s supposed intentions with the
movie.
Instead of concentrating on the various “slices of life” and personal
interactions represented within her tour crew, the media zeroed in on Madonna’s own outrageous antics and her “one-woman crusade to change the world” through provocation. In the end, it seemed as though Madonna was possibly just
stoking the flames of her own ego.
But that was then, and this is now. Although both films share a similar look – full-color stage performances contrasted with black-and-white backstage
footage, I’m Going To Tell You A Secret succeeds where Truth Or Dare failed.
Believe it or not, while watching the film, I “even as a self-proclaimed
Madonna-holic” was able to completely get past the fact that it was Madonna, the
world renown, and highly-successful “Pop Goddess” up there on the big screen.
Sure, there were moments that were pure “Diva“, but for the most part, the
movie could have easily been about any average person dealing with the daily
struggle over how to balance work and family, joy and sadness, love and loss.
Truth Or Dare 2.0 is really about a surprisingly humble woman who is trying to grow and expand her learning of life, and those around her who give and receive
elements of that sought after knowledge. The Madonna of 1991 was clearly not
afraid to let the world see her underbelly, warts and all, whereas the Madonna
of 2005 is not afraid to laugh at herself while unashamedly exposing her
meticulous journey from darkness to what she consistently refers to as “the light”..
I was highly impressed simply as a former college film student. Director
Jonas Akerlund (who helmed Madge’s video clips for “Ray Of Light” and “Music”.)
has done a brilliant job of presenting all sides to the kinetic story. His
editing (most likely somewhat supervised by Madonna herself) thankfully leaves
in jokes and potentially hard-to-digest footage concerning Madonna.s
ever-growing devotion to Kaballah, a mystical off-shoot of Judaism which Madonna
repeatedly says throughout the film is not about religion at all. I was pleased to
see that although the film uses high-octane performance footage, charming
humor, and exquisite globe-trotting cinematography to build towards what could easy
be described as a sermon about the importance of spirituality, Akerlund did
not back down with the fact that not everyone in the world agrees with the way
Madonna lives her life, no matter how well Kaballah may work for her.
Similarly, it was refreshing that the comments that disappointed daughter Lourdes
makes about missing her mother while she works so feverishly on tour were not
left on the cutting room floor. (By the way, the eight year old speaks perfect
French and even tutors her mother on the subject.)
It has been said that good movies are supposed to make you think, and great
movies should even elicit anger. Unexpectedly, somewhere in between the witty
quips and shots of an impeccably glamorous Madonna taking her cast of dancers
to an elegant piano recital in Paris, I became infuriated. You see, fourteen
years ago when Truth Or Dare was released, the hype and attention was
deafening. The film opened to great reviews and its per screen box office take was
certainly impressive. But in today’s polarized climate,
the know believe it just wouldn.t sell. They are probably right. Madonna’s
controversial video for her 2003 single “American Life”, which was ultimately
pulled by the star herself due to its graphic portrayal of wartime violence,
is featured bravely here. In fact, if memory serves, striking footage of
amputee soldiers that had been banished from all previous censored versions of the
video finally make their debut here. Add to the mix a meaty dose of Michael
Moore and Madonna supporting each other’s political courage and you have a
film that probably wouldn’t go over too well with heartland audiences. And that
is what is so frustrating – the hypocrisy of our society. When Madonna
fellates a water bottle, the world flocks to watch – and then condemns her for doing
so – but when Madonna has a poignantly positive message of peace, love, and
goodwill to share, there is doubt as to whether anybody will find it
interesting.
Thankfully, this is not the case. The film may a bit on the long side, but
it is entirely engrossing throughout, even when Madonna and Akerlund hand over
precious screen time, both on and off stage, to the show.s talented dancers,
all of which emerge as Madonna’s second string of children. In fact, one of
the more tender moments occurs when Madonna woefully apologizes on the last
night of the tour for trading party time with her dance troupe in favor of face
time with her actual family. (She’s clearly come along way since her first
documentary in which she infamously invited each of her young dancers to undress
in her bed!) The most delicate moments in Secret, however, came courtesy of
Madonna’s father (also a Truth Or Dare alum), who is filmed working at his
winery in Michigan and talking candidly about the difficulty of raising his large
family. Believe me, there was nary a dry eye in the house after watching
scenes of Papa Ciccone attending his most famous daughter’s show in Chicago.
Joy, empathy, and even anger aside, one emotion I was not necessarily
expecting to feel was pride. But midway through the powerhouse presentation of ”
Holiday”, there it was, in the form of tears streaming down my face. Watching the
mesmerizing rendition of a song that is synonymous with Madonna’s 23 year
long career (and the only one which she has sung live in all of her shows), I
began to realize just how important this woman has been to me. Thanks to Madonna’s brilliant and prolific artistic output, I have been granted not only great
music that acts as a blue print to the different points in my own life, but
also a handful of “once-in-a-lifetime” experiences and events that I will never
forget. Her music, her visual artistry, and her ideologies have continuously
acted as a muse for my own artwork and helped to form me into whom I am
today. So, perhaps my boyfriend was right. Perhaps Madonna is somewhat of a
surrogate mother to me, and in turn, to all of her other ravenous fans out there as
well. This statement is certainly not meant to discredit the importance of
things that we have all learned from our own mothers, but perhaps there are
values that we never received from our parents, values that nonetheless, were
ones we felt we needed to be taught. When all is said and done, it is safe to
say that I have gleaned much inspiration from both Madonna and my mother.
Madonna’s new movie will air on MTV’s cable networks throughout the next few
weeks, and most likely will end up on DVD sometime next year. Longtime fans
will relish the behind-the-scenes look at Madonna and family, blood relation
and otherwise, and enjoy the intoxicating soundtrack of classic Madonna tunes
newly interpreted by the Re-Invention Tour’s Musical Director Stuart Price, who
also makes quite a charming impression on celluloid in Secret.
Coincidentally, Price is also co-producer of Confessions On A Dance Floor, Madonna’s
forthcoming new CD of feel good tunes. I couldn’t help but notice the shrewdness of
Madonna’s foresight – releasing a disc full of non-stop party tunes
immediately following a movie which ultimately portrays the singer as a gentle, but strict motherly figure with her mind on peace and promoting the spiritual
awakening inside us all. And that is what makes Madonna interesting. She is
seemingly all things to all people, and all at once.
Upon leaving the theater I was stopped by a friend I hadn’t seen in sometime
who asked my opinion of the film. She understandably had difficulty
connecting Madonna’s “new” image with the salacious one of the past, but for me, it’s
all really quite simple. As human beings, hopefully we will all continue to
grow and change with time; hopefully, we will all continue to mature and
explore new things about ourselves. The only real difference with Madonna is that
she has done it in front of the public eye. Nobody is perfect. We all have
negative moments and possess elements of ourselves that we are not proud of or
may like to change. Madonna still uses the “F” word like it was 1990, and
why shouldn’t she? She is not perfect either. She is just trying to find that
balance to be happy just like the rest of us, to have a good old time enjoying
life while still spreading love and hopefulness to our troubled world.
My mother will be getting a DVD from me in the very near future. I pray that
she takes the time to watch the film uninterrupted as a favor to her one and
only son. After all, I am only attempting to help her understand why Madonna
still moves me. I already know she will enjoy the dance performances and the
elaborate process that goes into creating such a stellar stage show. But what
I hope is that she will also be able to keep an open mind, and actually
listen to what Madonna and crew have to offer.
By the way, wondering about the secret mentioned in the title? It’s simple. Twenty minutes of Kaballah philosophy and moving images of suffering children from throughout the world comes down to one simple request: Be part of the
solution, not part of the chaos. That is a lot easier than it sounds, and not
only for us, but for Madonna as well. But she’s trying. Are you?